five hundred-word shorts: flash nonfiction

I got lost driving to school today, which is not an extraordinary event, and I had to make a U-turn by the student center while people tried to cross (embarrassing), and then I drove to my usual parking spot and got nervous because there was another car waiting to turn so I got out onto Oakwood street and then I drove down the road and ended up parking two streets down, probably legal. When I got out I tried to cross to the sidewalk, and there was a mysterious hole in the grass and I tripped right into it.

I made potato cake, which is not a cake, and the bottom layer is potatoes and then the second layer is leeks and garlic and then it just keeps going up until you run out of potatoes. Except the first thing I took out of the fridge were green onions and when I cooked them with garlic, I said “These look really small” and then Whitney got home and said “those aren’t leeks, those are green onions” and I frowned at Jude who had watched me cut them up and said nothing. I took a break to drink my latte.

Jude and I went out to run errands together. The first place we went was the post office, and Jude spent twenty minutes waiting in line while I was in the car watching TikToks and chilling. Then we went to the library, and I got a book that promised me clues to the murder through crossword puzzles, which would never happen in real life, but is absolute candy to my brain. Then we went to Booksweet and I preordered Premee Mohammed’s new book even though I still have not read her first one, but it is because we are friends.

Instead of writing this piece I spent a lot of time today putting lo-fi hip-hop videos into a playlist, which is helpful because of all the hyphens, making them into one word. That’s meta for you. I did some other homework but none of it is quite as hard. I drank wine at last night’s new year’s dinner and I woke up sick because of it. Other people get hangovers, I’m just a person with an autistic stomach. Here’s a conversation I overheard once: “Do people who have IBS transition?” and the response: “Lots of Jews transition, yes.”

I moved in with Jude and Whitney and Cal from my parents’ house about a week before school started. A summary of everything before that is: my therapist asked me “is there any point in your life that was relatively trauma-free?” and I had to say “Not really,” so that is kind of how things have been until now. I met Jude on OkCupid in like 2015 but we met in person in 2017 for D&D. I fell in love with the DM of our group and we started dating in March 2020. And then, well, you know.

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